Friday, February 17, 2017

Amish Reconciliation Dinners: Finding Unity over Food

A while back, Tim and I bought fifteen acres from an Amish friend in Smicksburg, PA. But there was a problem; we needed to use a road (a right of way or easement) through another Amish family’s property… and they didn’t like this. So much so, that when we went down the road to get to our land, there were rakes and pitchforks blocking our entry.

Then an Amish man, we’ll call him 'Eli' instead of his real name, came over on a cussing rant. I’ll admit, I can be feisty at times and wagged a finger, telling him, “I’m going to tell your bishop on you!”
So we went down the road to tell Amish friends what happened. “Who is his bishop?” we asked. Gulp. The Amish man who’d just cussed us out was the bishop. Our friends said, “Jah, you have a bad apple in every bushel. Even Amish have problems.”

After we were able to speak due to shock, we learned that no one, even a bishop, is above being corrected. A few Amish families got together and had the bishop over for a reconciliation dinner. We weren’t invited; they wanted to work on this bishop’s inappropriate behavior on their own.

We waited a few weeks to go up to our land and were met by the bishop with a smile and an extended hand. (No pitchfork in it). He humbly apologized and told us all he was going through as we walked our land. He ended up playing the harmonica for us on his front porch. A real Walton’s moment for me.
We asked our Amish friends about this reconciliation dinner. No details were given except that it was worked out. The Amish intrigue us to know end! It's in the past and worked out. They asked us to report any future problems, but "things were worked out". 

We had to ask, “So problems are solved over food?” Well, there was more than one meal, but yes. One thing I’ve noticed having observed many Amish over thirty years is that they work differences out. And they expect to have problems since they’re human. The Amish are a Christian group who know they have a sin nature that needs fixing here and there. Not working out sin can lead to a ban or shunning, but that's another story. 

“Now the deeds of the flesh are obvious, which are: adultery, sexual immorality, uncleanness, lustfulness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, strife, jealousies, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.” Galatians 5: 19-21

Many see the Amish as beings so pious, it does them no justice. They work hard to maintain the peace and harmony we see when visiting Amish tourist places or shops. Millions from around the world visit Lancaster County to soak in their quaint and charming ways, but most don’t realize the hard work it takes to have their level of unity. (Thousands from around the world read this blog with no access to a Bible, so I’m putting the scriptures in from the World English Bible.)

What we usually see in the Amish is the fruit of the Holy Spirit:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23

We’ve never had a problem again with this Amish bishop. I can’t help but wonder that if our country had reconciliations dinners, we wouldn’t be so divided. We are the United States of America. As usual, the Amish give me much to ponder.

 
I captured this grouping of Amish buggies in Smicksburg.
Most likely not a reconciliation dinner, but folks with cabin fever! Brr. Cold out!

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Road trip Across America seeking more Amish & Native American Connections


After thirty years, I’m still gleaning secrets to a simpler life from Amish friends. My husband and I are taking a road trip across America to learn more. Ever so thankful to have a husband who's partners in Amish hunting. ;) We love our Amish friends in Smicksburg, but we get a bit myopic, since they're only half hour away. So we're expanding our horizons.
As the Amish are now in 40-some states, hubby and I are getting ready to leave for three-weeks from Western Pennsylvania. Something deep within makes us seekers and lifelong learners of the Amish and Mennonites. I’ve wondered about their appeal and lately, I think they’re similar to St. Augustine and some of the Desert Fathers & Sisters who left a materialistic world in 300 A.D. to embrace simplicity and be off-the-grid. Today, all the buzz about tiny house living and modern day minimalism, are we at the breaking point? I think so. Tim and I are.
I also want to get back to the old-fashioned way of life. Both of my parents were first generation immigrants. My mom passed on some Italian sayings and my dad his Croatian. When I was a teen I was shocked to find that “cleanliness is next to godliness” and “charity begins at home” were not in the Bible. I checked “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ was in there, and it’s not either.
So, I do understand the Amish with their sayings. They’re taught to their children as little nibbles of wisdom to steer them in life.
Regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow are twin thieves that rob us of the moment.
Live each short hour with God and the long years will take care of themselves.
I’m so blessed to have learned so much from the Amish. I hope to inspire and point not only to God in my writings, now to include non-fiction and a lot more blogging here. I yearn to help readers to walk a path a bit less chaotic. Granny Weaver, an elderly Amish woman character who finds her way in most of my books, knitting needles in tow, is a lover of Robert Frost. (The Amish love poetry.) She reads and ponders The Road Not Taken:
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
As we head from Pennsylvania to New Mexico, we know there’s unrest in America. What path should we take? For answers, we hope to connect with and understand Native American culture as well. Having lived near Seneca Nation in Salamanca, New York for ten years, we admired how, despite present day opposition and prejudice, they aren't bitter, but give a warning: "Our country was taken from us. It can happen to the White Man." Somber words, but true. So intrigued by Natives, I hope to meet some that live near Amish so I can continue to combine both cultures like I do in my novels The Amish Doll and Plain Jane.
So, hopefully, you'll be seeing plenty of pictures of Amish across America along with Natives, two cultures dear to my heart.

If you see us, give us a holler! 


Friday, April 29, 2016

Interruptions. The life God is sending us day by day?

 I just got back from Lydia’s greenhouse and had to share something. I experienced Gelassenheit (quietly waiting while putting others first) in action like never before. This is personal, but I’ll share with ‘yinz’.

I cried my eyes out when talking to my Amish friends yesterday, right there in Lydia’s greenhouse. My youngest daughter, Kara, is moving thousands of miles away. Kara, my companion in ‘all things Amish’, has known Lydia since a young teen, but now she’s married with another baby on the way. Her husband, after battling brain cancer over the past 6 months, needs to be in an area where alternative medicine is more readily available.

I just stood there losing it, and Lydia listened, tearing up, helped me pick flowers for a ‘healing garden’. What I forgot all along was her husband pulling his beard, taking it all in. Oh, I felt so insensitive. After my meltdown, Lydia’s husband talked to me for a while about his first wife’s cancer. He accompanied her to Mexico fourteen times on the train to save the Amish community thousands of dollars on chemotherapy and alternative medicine. Alternative medicine had helped extend his first wife’s life.  This man opened a painful chapter in is life to help me get a perspective shift. My dear son-in-law’s cancer was caught, contained and operable. And he needs alternative medicine. And I will live; his children from his first marriage all live just as far away.

Oh, what an emotional day at the Amish greenhouse, but let me tell you, many Amish are concerned for us stressed out Americans. And if you ever stop by a roadside stand, or visit a shop and feel like crying, go right ahead. They’ll listen and quietly wait for you to finish and just be there for you. It’s part of their Gelassenheit, a pause to listen and care for others. Yes, there are grouchy Amish. I’ll blog around Christmas about the Amish in New York that made wooden children’s toys that were meaner than spit, (we told our kids they were Santa’s elves…wink, wink) But it’s a rarity to find a rude Amish person. It’s not part of their upbringing and culture.

I had to create a C.S. Lewis book club into the Smicksburg Tales because I get so much out of his writings. Too profound not quote, so Jeb and Jonas meet to talk about Lewis’ teachings when the women knit. But Lewis is sounding mighty Amish to me lately. Interruptions are a part of Amish life, almost scheduled in. They’re never too busy to talk.  Lydia’s husband (he has a name but says the internet is the devil and doesn’t want his name on it ;) could have kept on doing his accounting for their businesses, but he didn’t. He lived out a Lewis quote:


“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day.”


Monday, April 25, 2016

Amish & Choral Singing


“Music is my life,” was my mantra in high school, so starting college as a music major was a no-brainer. When I met my voice teacher, I was so embarrassed for him. He was an extreme stutterer; but when he sang, he was instantly cured. Oh, he was so inspirational. Research suggests there’s a brain overlap with music and speech. Music also has the ability to help dementia patients remember. Music is the last thing to decline in the brain. As a beginning music therapy major, I was floored.

Here’s a snippet of Kimberly Sena Moore Ph. D in Psychology Today’s article Memory through Choir?
“Let’s take choir, for instance. Think about some of the benefits that come from singing in a choir—there’s deep breathing involved (respiratory strength), vocalization (speech production), the need to focus on a given task (sustained attention), the challenge of learning new material (learning and memory), the pleasure derived from performing (emotional benefits, like pride), all within the context of a social group (socialization).”

Pretty impressive, huh? What most don’t realize is that singing is a staple of Amish culture. Singing at home, church, Singings (for youth to meet up) or singing in three-part harmony while working on our barn. It was the most heart-warming look into Amish comradery; I soaked in the beautiful German accapella (no harmonica in tow), closing my eyes and fantasizing once again that I was on the set of Little House on the Prairie.

And then I thought of the joy my kids brought to nursing homes as we tried to be the Von Trapp Family Singers. Patients were wheeled in or used their walkers to get to the lounge room. Tim and I strummed the guitars to slow songs like Kumbaya or Amazing Grace. After a few songs, the audience was so excited, they shouted out, “Play something faster.” So we did and some stood and others clapped their hands. The room was filled with laughter and joy and comradery. To be honest, I didn’t want to expose my kids, then four years old to nine, to the nursing home environment. But after that night, we went back faithfully once a month and my kids learned some valuable lessons from World War II Vets.

A benefit music plays in the Amish church services is the ability to connect with the writers of their hymn book, The Ausbund. The core of it is fifty-one songs written by Anabaptists while imprisoned between 1535 und 1540 because of their convictions. Some didn’t survive and many were martyred. A fresh respect for their ancestors and the courage to keep the faith, solidifies their beliefs.


"Alleluia" oil painting by Thomas Cooper Gotch


Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Gelassenheit: Serenity in Quietly Waiting, an Amish Way of Thinking


I treasure this trait among the Amish more than anything. Gelassenheit is putting others first, the Golden Rule seen in technicolor among the Amish. When speaking in a group, all eyes are upon you, taking in every word said, and then you may find the ‘Amish pause’. They take to heart what you’ve said and want to give you their full attentive answer.

For example, I asked a man named Levi about what he thought of Old Order Amish verses New Order Amish. He bowed his head, pulled at his beard and said nothing. I thought I’d pushed it this time, asking too many questions or touched a nerve. After a ‘spell’, Levi kindly looked up and said, “I think an older Amish person can explain it better. They’re wiser than I am.”
I almost fainted. Here he was, in his prime at thirty-some years old and he’s saying he doesn’t know it all, that the older the wiser and he meant it.

Gelassenheit is seen in their culture through their personality, yet they have nicknames like ‘Tall Laughing Jonah’. Some are hilarious to talk to, but there’s still that deep down seriousness that comes with being an attentive listener. And if you say something you shouldn’t, they usually just smile, overlooking quickly any hurt or irritation. Talking to Barb, mother of nine, I blurted out, “Oh my goodness you put up the hard way. Have you heard of a vacuum sealer?” Silence and then a smirk from Barb. Her daughters were there and I may have enticed them to dream of greener pastures. Without having to be told to stop tempting her daughters with modern gadgets needing electricity, I got the message. I simply said, “But to each their own, I suppose. Many can with a pressure cooker and love it.”

Gelassenheit in German means ‘serenity’. In the Amish Froschauer (German) Bible they take this virtue from Lamentations 3:26 and it means ‘quietly wait’. So, when I flubbed up in front of Barb’s daughters, she was quietly waiting for me to get the cue to say the right thing: don’t tempt my daughters to go the English route.

Gelassenheit is part of the Amish Ordnung, which is German for order. This serenity or quietly waiting is shown in their simplicity of clothing, house style and having things in common. No competition to keep up with the Schmuckers.

This is not to say that they’ve lost their identity, as so many are known for their unique talents, but their hope is that it all points to their simple lifestyle. By putting others first, Amish businesses don’t believe in ‘extortion’. They say that right out loud. “Why should we charge you too much if we’re happy with our profit.” Again, you just want to hold on to a chair, shocked.

My good friend, Maryann, had to get her entire kitchen replaced due to flooding. She shopped around and was discouraged. Since we go to Smicksburg often, we thought of Amish cabinet and furniture makers. and you they don’t cut corners. (No pun intended) They use real hardwoods and are upfront about costs. They have a yearlong waiting list because Maryann got a custom-made kitchen with over twenty cabinets plus an island as big as a dining room table, installed, for $12,000.00. Let me spell that out if you missed it: twelve-thousand dollars. And her cabinets are cherry!


So how can we embrace this ‘serenity’? For me it’s jumping out of our performance based culture. What you achieve isn’t more important than who you are. Having the biggest house on the block doesn’t mean it’s the happiest one. Finding joy in serving others is what’s important. An Amish proverb, painted on a simple little board, lives on my kitchen window sill. “The most important things are not things.” It brings serenity to my soul every time I wash dishes. 

The slower pace of Amish life lends to 'quietly waiting'. 

Monday, December 14, 2015

A Simple Christmas, the Amish Way


Well, I haven’t blog here in quite a while. Life has thrown is a few curve balls. Our son-in-law was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. Please pray for him. Only twenty-five years old.

Our nephew’s wife became sick in Alaska and they’re living with us with their five little angels, all under ten years old.

I wanted to share with you that I wrote a short eBook that can be bought worldwide. So many from Russia, Ukraine, Latvia and other wonderful countries reading this blog. You can go to Amazon International to see if my book is sold in your area.   It’s my journey towards a peace filled Christmas Amish style. But as learning simplicity seems to be challenge daily, I’ve tweaked our Christmas all the more after reading the blog Embracing a Simpler Life.

Here’s that’s different. I’ve had the tradition of make an Italian cookie. This tradition has been passed down for ages. Centuries. I felt that if I didn’t make pizzelle, it was just not Christmas.

But I love the history of our country, the Colonial American Period. So, I’ve given myself permission to make gingerbread and sugar cookies and not pizzelle. My iron broke and I can't find one of good quality. 

I also have a love for all things British, especially Jane Austen and Charles Dickens,  I plan to make mincemeat pies and maybe a figgy pudding. (If you have a recipe for figgy pudding, a Colonial Christmas favorite, can you put the recipe or link in comments? Thanks!)

It’s so freeing to say that two little word. N-O.


When the new year starts, I’ll be blogging more here. Until then, Merry Christmas! 




Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Amish on gay marriage and homosexuality...trip back to the past

Many people have told me that when they visit the Amish, they feel cleansed. It takes them back to their childhood or what they wished they had. A simpler time. Fewer choices which makes for an uncluttered mind.

I was born in 1960. My parents were from the Greatest Generation, the men and women who went through the Great Depression and World War II. Right was right and wrong was wrong, plain and simple. And one word that was definitely wrong to my dad’s ears was the word “queer”.

Queer. To me it meant odd or weird. To my dad, it meant someone who may have dodged the draft by saying they didn't like girls, hence not pulling their weight during the war. Men were asked during the drafting process “Do you like girls?” If they said no, they couldn't serve. 

The Amish still live back in the 1960’s in many ways. Back then, the USA had more of a Christian Worldview. The topic of being gay didn't even come up around the dinner table (We ate meals together). Divorce didn’t come up much either. The health of the family unit, one man married to one woman, was revered. I went to a large public school and only one person was dealing with the divorce of her parents. Coming out of the closet meant the gym locker room. No one said they were gay unless they meant they were happy like in the West Side Story song, I Feel Pretty... "I feel pretty and witty and gay.”



Today, opinions shift like sand on many matters to be “cool, groovy or marvy”. (Had to throw in 1960’s lingo ;)  The Amish simply do not care what people think of them. They even get uncomfortable when people think too highly of them. 

Do they condone gay marriage? No. That’s what they’ll say if you ask them and then change the subject. They’re not even comfortable talking about it because it’s so foreign to them, just like in my growing up years.

Are they concerned about the way the culture in America is headed? Yes, but they’re not surprised. Do they hate people who are gay? No. They believe every person is made in the image of God. They wouldn’t condone any harm or harassment to anyone no matter what. Do they believe in gay marriage. No, they hold to the Biblical view that marriage is one man and one woman. 

Oh, I love the Amish. There’re very few people in the world don’t care if they’re not groovy, cool, or marvy." ;)

Eight million tourist from around the world visit Lancaster County alone each year. Maybe they're looking for a trip back to the past.