I’ll never forget my shopping trip with Susan years
ago. She was in her mid 20’s and I wasn’t much older. Our trip consisted of a
trip from Cherry Creek to a quaint, little town only seven miles away. Randolph
had a variety store, full of cooking utensils, crafts, and just about
everything imaginable.
Susan walked around in amazement, taking delight in
everything from new pot holders to cross-stitch patterns. I looked around…bored
and impatient. I kept thinking of how deprived Susan was. I mean, she acted
like she was in a major store in the city. She slowly picked up things and just
stared at them.
A long
hour later, after she got the things on her list, we drove back to her place.
The whole way, I held my tongue. But when the ten minute ride was up, I just
looked at Susan and sighed. “What do you do for fun?” But I was thinking, Susan, you are so deprived! You need to get
out more!
Susan looked at me confused. “I don’t know. Lots of
things.”
I almost blurted out, Milk cows? Feed chickens?
“I love to watch birds. You know we raise white
doves, right?” Susan asked.
“Yes, but….WHAT
DO YOU DO WITHOUT TELEVISION?” There, I did it. I had the nerve to ask an
Amish person this bottled up question.
Susan looked at the white doves that swooped around
her barn. “Well, we like to visit. I have lots of girlfriends, and we get
together at least once a week to make some kind of craft.”
My heart sunk. Friends?
I’d seen large groups of Amish women on front porches, just sitting and
talking. I, on the other hand, had four kids that I homeschooled and was out
four nights a week to violin, piano, karate, and dance lessons. Yep, each child
had their own talent and a night that took me away from doing things with
friends. Actually, I only had a few close friends at church.
“Do you have lots of friends, Susan?” I asked.
“Jah, and so many cousins, I keep losing track of
the number. Then there’s nieces and nephews…”
My family lived in the Greater Pittsburgh Area, and
I longed to live near them. But my husband’s job was in NY and we made the best
of it.
“So, Susan, what else besides friends?”
“I love to read. I read a lot.”
Another touchy spot. I love to read too, and took a book
and read a few pages while waiting for one of my kids to finish a lesson.
“And we spend lots of time as a family…”
Okay, Susan was hitting a real nerve now. Being away
so much at night, I rarely saw my husband. He worked seventy hours a week…but
we caught up on the weekends, I kept telling myself. But it wasn’t true. Our
marriage was wilting due to lack of water and sunshine, just like a plant.
Susan looked at me in pity. “I can show you lots of
other things we do. Work frolics are fun.”
I told her I had to run….clock was ticking and the
babysitter needed paid. She took her bags and told me to come back anytime to
chat. She wasn’t busy.
On the ride home, something snapped in me. Our lives
were revolving around two things; our kids and television. My elderly neighbors
tried to tell me my kids could all take piano or…maybe nothing. When they were
kids, there was no such thing as a private lesson.
So, I talked to my husband, and he smiled so much, I
thought he was going to scream “Touchdown!” Someone had finally gotten through
to me that my kids wouldn’t die if they didn’t have lessons. Our kids wouldn’t
die if we actually put our relationship first instead of them.
So we pulled the plug on the television and canceled
lessons. The kids didn’t even mind, saying they’d have more free time. They weren’t
as addicted to the television as I was, because I didn’t let them “waste their
lives” watching it. I went cold turkey and it was hard. But I started to see my day was suddenly much longer. I had
time to read and visit friends. I got more involved in our church, and
volunteered to help with the teens. Tim and I got out our guitars and sang
together again.
A year later, I saw a television on in a waiting
room at the doctor’s office. I just gawked. It was so corny. So unrealistic. So
hyped up. It didn’t portray real life at all. I knew that, because I actually
now had one!
My kids are now in their twenties and thank me for limiting
television and not having any electronic games when they were young. They have
so many good childhood memories that are real, not living their lives through
someone else. That’s how the Amish view television. They wonder why people
watch other people live, but don’t live themselves.
I’m so grateful for Susan and the wake-up call I got
the day we went shopping. My husband and I are so happily married, since we “water”
our relationship often because… we don’t watch television. We have a flat
screen and a DVD library, but it’s hardly ever on. We’re too busy living.
Pam, I wasn't expecting lots of traffic on this post, since most people think you're a little "off" for not watching "the box". Nice to know I have some company. Thanks for dropping by ;)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are "box less" by choice. We do get asked "what do you do without a TV?" I tell them, we read, do crafts, and enjoy the QUIET! :0)
ReplyDeleteSusan, you sound like us. People call us "Almost Amish"...I take that as a compliment ;)
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